Uterus: Hey
Me: Yo sup
Uterus: I have dreams. I have ambitions.
Me: …
Uterus: I think it’s important for me to share this with you
Me: are you-
Uterus: I want to be an air guitar
Me: what are-
Uterus: here watch I’m already so good watch
Uterus: *shreds*

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Anywhere you go is the place I’ll call my home
Painting welcome signs and growing flowers in the lawn
Eating junk and watching trash til the break of the dawn
A gentleman you are, always take me on long walks

(Source: actuallyitsaparasol)

163 notes


"All these young girls getting themselves pregnant"

Wow, self impregnating teenage girls, these men should be afraid, we as woman are evolving at alarming rates.

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